I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
