Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize