You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
