Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Duck Duck Cougar?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we're making bets on your personal life
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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