The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
