Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
