if you like me you must not know who I am
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
