Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
