well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The Olympian is in my bed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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