don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Sober January is a disaster.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
