i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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