ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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