I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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