hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize