who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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