I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
