Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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