I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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