Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
