That's intense
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize