does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
