when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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