Define "chronic" masturbator.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
