Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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