So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
