The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
