Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize