His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The air taste purple.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize