You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
