yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize