not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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