He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
