areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
