atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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