Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
