we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
