I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
