so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
