he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
