I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
