I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
