I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize