wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i died would you start the facebook group?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
