When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
