You can't special order awesome
Girls should come with a carfax report
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
