i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
