the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
