Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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