Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
