he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
