Where is the hickey?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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