he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How does it feel to date your dad?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
