she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
