Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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