I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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