By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize