did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
