You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
